The Memory of Light

Stork, Francisco X. The Memory of Light. 2016. 336p. ISBN 9780545474320.

Viewed from the outside, Vicky Cruz's life is fantastic. Her father is rich, her sister is attending an Ivy League school, her house has a pool, and she has a nanny that prepares meals and cleans the house. Vicky had a poem published in the high school literary review, and though her grades are not great, she participates in the debate team. But ever since her mother died from cancer, Vicky has not felt well. Her father quickly remarried, her sister is mad at her, and no one talks about her mother anymore.

When Vicky wakes up at the hospital, she's surprised to be there. She meant for the pills she took to kill her, but she was discovered by her nanny before it was too late. Now Vicky finds herself on the 5th floor of the hospital, in the mental ward, where she meets Mona, Gabriel, and E.M., three other kids who are all here because of their own issues. Working with Dr. Desai, Vicky soon identifies her issue. She suffers from depression, a disease that creates large black clouds and even blacker thoughts, that she calls the uglies. These thoughts tell her that she's worthless, that no one loves her, and that the world would be better off if she were dead.

Her father is reluctant at first to leave her there for two weeks. He has arranged for a well-known psychiatrist to take care of Vicky, but Vicky for once stands up to him and demands to stay here. After two weeks, she heads out with the other kids to a ranch where they do physical labor while working on learning techniques to deal with their issues. But a series of incidents at the ranch forces Vicky to return to her old life prematurely, before she feels ready to go. With her father pressuring her to resume her old life, with people at school knowing what she did, and with her sister only now coming around, Vicky will need to find the courage to continue living.

Based on the author's own life experience dealing with depression, The Memory of Light explores how one recovers from a suicide attempt, and how one learns again that life is worth living.