Kill the Boy Band

Moldavsky, Goldy. Kill the Boy Band. 2016. 320p. ISBN 9780545867474. Available as an audiobook from Overdrive.

The Ruperts are the newest British boy band, a sensation so powerful teenage girls all over the world are in love. Originally participants in a reality television show demonstrating their talents, the members of the band were put together by a marketing team due to their endorsement by the public, and by the catchy fact that their first names are all Rupert. The four of them have been driving their fans wild with pop songs, and their social media presence and public appearances are endlessly analyzed.

Told in the first person, the narrator, a teenage girl about to turn 16, never identifies herself throughout the novel, so we will call her X. X has social anxiety, and would rather spend time online with virtual friends than take the time to make real connections. However, she did meet Erin when they started 9th grade, and, as another fan of the Ruperts, hit it off immediately. They connected with two other girls online. Apple, who is adopted from China and whose parents love her so much they’re willing to let her do whatever she wants, and Isabelle, who has an acerbic personality and who publishes one of the most popular blog about the Ruperts.

When the Ruperts announce they will be performing a concert in New York City during Thanksgiving, the girls are completely beside themselves. The show sold out so fast they were unable to get tickets, but that won’t stop them. Their plan? They will book a room at the swanky hotel where the Ruperts are staying, so that unlike the fans who will wait outside hoping for a glimpse of the wonder boys, they will be in the hotel and that much closer to the objects of their affections.

But all of this is background knowledge the reader gains as pages are turned, for the novel starts in the hotel room where something has gone wrong. Apple, on her way to the ice machine, encountered Rupert Pierpont, body slammed him unconscious (Apple is, after all about 5 feet 2 and over 260 pounds), and dragged his body back to their room. When Rupert P comes about, he finds himself tied to a chair in the hotel suite of four teenage fans.

The girls don’t quite know what to do with Rupert P. Sure, he’s a member of the Ruperts, but he’s the ugliest and least talented of the four. Honestly, if they were going to kidnap a member of the band, wouldn’t they have been better off with one of the others? Rupert P. is Apple’s favorite, however, so she has trouble controlling herself. X, for her part, really wants nothing to do with this kidnapping, but unfortunately she’s already involved, as Erin reminds her. Plus, they have his room key, his cellphone, and the secrets they contain.

With such an opportunity at their fingertips, what else would diehard fans do but take it? Each girl has an agenda, however, and all is not well in the Ruperts universe. The decisions the girls will make are about to change the boy band forever.