Wednesday, September 4, 2024

If He Had Been With Me

Nowlin, Laura. If He Had Been With Me. 2013. 336p. ISBN 9781402277825. Available as an ebook from Overdrive.


Autumn and Phineas have been neighbors their whole lives. The two of them share backyards, schools, quirks, and hopes and dreams. Autumn is always a little weird, and one day she wants to be a writer. Finn doesn't know what he would like to do, but maybe something dealing with medicine. Finn's father is out of the picture, Autumn's father is also frequently absent, so their mothers spend a lot of time together. Autumn and Finn are inseparable, until something happens in 8th grade that tears their relationship. Suddenly, Autumn is lost without her anchor, and Finn seems just as miserable.

Throughout high school, Autumn and Finn grow apart, but are never far from each other, what with family dinners and special events. Finn has a girlfriend among the popular crowd, a group they would never have joined when they were younger. Autumn has a boyfriend among the oddball crowd, and her group of friends are all weird and eclectic. The groups run into each other frequently, and they attempt to outdo the other's actions.

Through all four years, however, Autumn is fighting the gnawing feeling that her boyfriend is not the right one, that perhaps she is in love with Finn after all. But how do you reconcile with someone who broke your heart back in 8th grade?

Autumn is a flawed character, who either ignores the facts in front of her, or is willfully blind to Finn's attempts at repairing a friendship he broke. Her self pity make her a relatable if annoying character. Readers who enjoy books without a clear and happy conclusion will appreciate Autumn's struggle. 

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